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Topic: RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Topic: RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

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Mike Johnson
General User

Member Since: 11/11/2004
Location: North Canton, OH
Post Count: 1,707

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 11:39:05 AM

OhioCatFan wrote:

I also had a situation when I was about 18, the details of which I don't want to go into, but which required me to physically repel a much bigger man. To this day, I don't know how I did it. Adrenaline must have kicked in big time. I was scared to death. In my frightened condition, I was able to grab a bar and swing my feet at him full force and knock him over and run like hell away from him. If he had overpowered me and did what he was intent on doing, I certainly would have reported the incident to authorities. I would not have waited 30 years!

A couple years ago I offered to write a biography for an elderly woman - not for retail but for her family and her large circle of friends. I gave it the same TLC that I gave my books that are available at retail. During one of the long interview sessions she described how she was assaulted while walking home after dark from a movie. Three girls had met at the theater. After the movie, they went heading in different directions to their homes. This was in the late 1940s when her small hometown was regarded as the kind where a teenage girl could walk alone after dark without a care.

About a half mile from her home, she was attacked from behind and knocked to the pavement. The attacker began strangling her. What saved her? An approaching car illuminated the attack, distracting the attacker enough so that the girl could squirm free, get to her feet and run home.

As she was relating the incident, I asked, "Do your kids know about this?"

"No," she replied. "No one living today knows about it."

"Well, they'll learn about it in the book." Then I asked, "Were there any lasting effects from the attack?"

"Yes," she replied, "I had intimacy problems - for a long time."

At long last, in her mid-80s, she finally wanted a "forum" for relating what happened and what were the lasting and painful effects.

http://www.facebook.com/mikejohnson.author

rpbobcat
General User

Member Since: 4/28/2006
Location: Rochelle Park, NJ
Post Count: 3,504

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 1:25:55 PM

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame wrote:

Do you need a last name to tell the police/school that somebody attempted to sexually abuse you? Respectfully, your example of how you definitely acted differently ended with the exact same result as the victims you acted differently from.

Taking the steps to report an abuser, particularly ones who are in a position of power, takes an unbelievable amount of effort and emotional energy. Like I said, it's super easy to say you'd have done things differently, but in your own case you didn't report somebody because you didn't have his last name.

Sorry,but I really resent your condescending,self righteous attitude concerning how I dealt my situation.

I don't know if you've ever been in a similar situation.
If you haven't,then please ,practice what you preach,and don't lecture me on what I could/should have done.

First off,I did do things differently then the referenced OSU athletes.
I wouldn't let the guy abuse me.

I posted what happened to me so that people would see that some people,in a similar situation,do fight back.

I didn't see any need to go into details about what happened afterward,other then ,since I didn't know the guy's last name,I didn't file a complaint with the police.

But,you felt the need to demean me for not filing a police complaint.
So,as Paul Harvey used to say, "now for the rest of the story".

This was back in the late 1970's.
Cell phones,let alone,cell phones with cameras didn't exist.

After the incident, I talked to a police officer I knew in the town where I lived.

He said I could file a complaint with the police in the town where the incident happened.
But he told me that,unless I knew more then guy's first name,there really wasn't much of anything they could do.

I don't remember if the police officer said anything specific about contacting the police in the town where this happened.
I would assume he did.

I went back to the school several times,including at 6:00 am,hoping to see him and get something,anything,like a car make,model and/or license plate that could identify him, but I never saw him again.

Without anymore information there didn't seem any reason to file a complaint when I was told it wasn't going to go anywhere.

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame
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Member Since: 7/30/2010
Post Count: 3,286

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 1:39:34 PM

rpbobcat wrote:

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame wrote:

How did I demean you, exactly? And how, exactly, was I condescending? I"m pointing out how difficult it is to be in that situation, and how rarely even those trying to take the right steps are able to do anything impactful. I understand why you're upset that I would suggest you should have done more.

You should consider why you're upset and try to apply that to the victims in the OSU case.. Whether intentionally or not, you have consistently been condescending towards them for allowing this abuse to occur and not doing more to stop it.

rpbobcat
General User

Member Since: 4/28/2006
Location: Rochelle Park, NJ
Post Count: 3,504

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 3:30:27 PM

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame wrote:

rpbobcat wrote:

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame wrote:

I guess you didn't read my last post.

First off,I take offense at someone, who has apparently never been in a similar situation,telling me,the victim,remember,how I should have handled it.

Second,based on my last post,what else would you suggest I could have done ?

Lastly,please show me one comment that demeans any OSU wrestler.

In fact,I went out of my way to post why both myself and others feel the OSU wrestlers may not have reacted to Dr Strauss the way I did,with my assailant.

This was the first time I ever shared my story about what happened to me with anyone,except the police officer I mentioned.
But I felt what happened to me and how I handled it could provide some perspective into how at least one person handled a similar situation.

Given the responses from some people,guess not.

Last Edited: 5/20/2019 3:38:45 PM by rpbobcat

JSF
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Member Since: 1/29/2005
Location: Houston, TX
Post Count: 6,341

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 4:53:08 PM

A lot of grossness here. Victims are not ever responsible for their abuse. Ever. Full stop. Do better, be better, understand better.

You would think, somewhere around the 100th story like this, people would stop talking about how *they* would do things differently and how the victims should have done things differently and explore WHY all these stories sound so similar. I especially hope the poster who has admitted he was subjected to abuse and chose to say and do little finds some empathy for those who had it worse, especially if maybe they also tried to say something and found themselves stonewalled.

People knew and people enabled. This doesn't happen without cover.

Last Edited: 5/20/2019 4:55:59 PM by JSF

"Loyalty to a hometown or city is fleeting and interchangeable, but college is a stamp of identity."- Kyle Whelliston, One Beautiful Season.

My blog about depression and mental illness: https://bit.ly/3buGXH8

Kevin Finnegan
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Member Since: 2/4/2005
Location: Rockton, IL
Post Count: 1,084

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RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 5:41:02 PM

OhioCatFan wrote:

giacomo wrote:

These are adults we�re talking about, not little children. If some trainer or doctor tried to feel my crotch when I was 18-22 years old, I guarantee I would have pushed him away and told someone of authority.

+1

Yes, some of these folks are acting like they are back in grade school. No personal responsibility to take the necessary actions to end the behavior of the offender. Maybe the age of majority and the voting age needs to be raised to 25. Seems people these days are becoming mature adults at a later age, not an earlier one. [Note: I'm about half serious about the above remarks. They are strident, but we do have a serious societal problem not only with these sexual predators but in the way many individuals who are preyed upon are reacting to the abuse. I have a relative who was abused as a child. I'm very much aware of how a child reacts in these situations, and BLSS has described it well. However, an adult should react in an entirely different, more mature way. That seems often not to be happening in these situations. I find that very puzzling.]

--"No personal responsibility to take the necessary actions to end the behavior of the offender."--Am I reading this wrong? Is your interpretation of this report that fault lies with the victim? THEY didn't stop the offender? That's the issue here? This is very concerning if this is the mindset, and it seems only fitting that people wouldn't report this if this is the culture. Who would step up and report if some of the first impressions are: Why didn't you fight back? Why didn't you report it sooner? Why didn't you just get away?

--The nonsensical part of your post, though, is: "Maybe the age of majority and the voting age needs to be raised to 25. Seems people these days are becoming mature adults at a later age, not an earlier one." To which you then back up with the fact that, in case somebody thought you might be joking, that there is a level of seriousness in your comment. So much so that you again take a shot at the victim, saying that part of society's problem is how those preyed upon respond. There's almost too much to find fault with in this part that I'm not sure where to start. First, this post came in response to a report about victims from 1979 through the 1990s. These 18-22 year olds could be as old as in their 60s now, whereas the youngest victims are probably in their early 40s. What this has to do with today's youth, I'm not too sure (unless, of course, you consider those of us at 40 as the youth).

OhioCatFan
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Member Since: 12/20/2004
Location: Athens, OH
Post Count: 14,016

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/20/2019 11:21:49 PM

Hell no. I�m not saying the victim is at fault! Many of you seem to write from the same template. Disagree a little from today�s orthodox thinking and you are labeled a friend of rapists. A few of us have simply said that adults have more responsibility than children in these situations, in terms of how they react to them and what actions they take after being abused. None of us with this point view have said one thing about blaming the victim. In fact, we�ve given a few examples how in certain cases it�s possible to extricate oneself from a potentially abusive situation, thus escaping victimhood. If one can�t extricate himself or herself, and thereby becomes a victim, then there is a responsibility to report the crime that�s been committed to the authorities in a timely manner. I don�t think that�s an unreasonable expectation in most cases, realizing that in some situations there may be extenuating circumstances, like a rape committed by a family member, or a boss. In the case at hand, college wrestlers, it would seem to me that these young men should be able to avoid these situations in much the same manner as rpbobcat. But, if not, they have little excuse for not reporting the crime against them promptly. Unfortunately, that�s not what happened at Ohio State U. These allegations have come out years later. This makes it harder for them to prove the allegations. I hope justice delayed isn�t justice denied.

The only BLSS Certified Hypocrite on BA

"It is better to be an optimist and be proven a fool than to be a pessimist and be proven right."

Note: My avatar is the national colors of the 78th Ohio Veteran Volunteer Infantry, which are now preserved in a climate controlled vault at the Ohio History Connection. Learn more about the old 78th at: http://www.78ohio.org

cc-cat
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Member Since: 4/5/2006
Location: matthews, NC
Post Count: 3,821

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/21/2019 12:16:16 AM

/\/\/\
you do realize that only 23% of rapes and assaults are reported to police. when it is male on male it is much lower. even when the crime is committed by a total stranger only about 40% are reported.

you do understand why....don�t you?

Last Edited: 5/21/2019 12:17:58 AM by cc-cat

Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame
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Member Since: 7/30/2010
Post Count: 3,286

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/23/2019 1:40:25 PM

OhioCatFan wrote:

Hell no. I�m not saying the victim is at fault! Many of you seem to write from the same template. Disagree a little from today�s orthodox thinking and you are labeled a friend of rapists.

It's striking how when several people read what you wrote to mean something you didn't mean to say, your response is to assume some conspiracy against un-orthodox thought.

You made the decision to go on an incoherent rant about personal responsibility as it applies to sexual abuse victims. It was, to be very frank, a bad opinion. You're wrong and chose the wrong time to go on a little moral rant about gosh darn young people. Your point boils down to victims should do more to avoid being victimized and that everything we know about the psychology of victimhood shouldn't apply to those that are adults. Again, that's a bad opinion. At worst it's victim blaming. At best it's hopelessly naive.

You should take some personal responsibility for that.

Last Edited: 5/23/2019 1:58:52 PM by Bobcat Love's Sense of Shame

Kevin Finnegan
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Member Since: 2/4/2005
Location: Rockton, IL
Post Count: 1,084

Status: Offline

RE: OT: tOSU Could Be in Deep Doo-Doo

Posted: 5/23/2019 4:02:40 PM

OhioCatFan wrote:

ts1227 wrote:

. . . There's loyalty, and then there's extreme loyalty to the point where it's a fatal character flaw, which is something that seems to be popular of older men in this area/region of the country in particular, for some reason. . . .

Is this ageist? regionalist? Don't know, but I don't like. Can't we get away from trying to stereotype folks all the time?

https://www.bobcatattack.com/messageboard/topic.asp?FromP...

OhioCatFan wrote:

Maybe the age of majority and the voting age needs to be raised to 25. Seems people these days are becoming mature adults at a later age, not an earlier one. [Note: I'm about half serious about the above remarks. They are strident, but we do have a serious societal problem not only with these sexual predators but in the way many individuals who are preyed upon are reacting to the abuse.

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